Thursday, November 13, 2003

Dear God, thankyou for the British Public! I mean, what would we be done without them?

Why on earth I taped the National Music Awards last night, and am watching it no, I do not know, but boy hasn't it brought up my esteem for fellow man. Congratulations Will Young for winning Best Album - I think you're a steaming pile of shit, but I'm sure you deserved it. [I was hoping for Norah Jones...]

Rachel Stevens - excellent 'live' performance. Funny how it sounded EXACTLY like the radio edit though.

Daniel Bedingfield? Debut album that reads like a Greatest Hits? Fuck off and die with your stupid bimbo fan Amanda Holden. While you're at it, take Robbie Williams and Gareth Gates with you, but, please, please, please, do it somewhere far away from society so that the stench from your decomposing bodies doesn't ruin the image of autumn that I'm trying so hard to appreciate [my current thought is that it's best experienced on the bus... not sure why, but I think it's the kind of terracotta glow that comes through the window... again, not sure why]. [N.B. Please let something worthy of my weak criticism grow from your demise, because I've found that being a bastard to people like you is quite an effective way of diverting myself from self-deprecation].

"I'd just like to say a massive, massive thankyou" for Kylie for reminding us who she is just in case we forgot. Saying that, she was sat down, so her prime identifying point was out of view. But kudos for not actually attending the ceremony. If I was a musical 'talent' then I wouldn't turn up either. When the first three performances are Busted [one of those guys have rather enormous eyes - it's rather scary...], Rachel Stevens and Daniel Bedingfield, awards are presented from the cast of Heartbeat and Emmerdale, I think you might come to realise that it's the kind of event that you don't want to tarnish your precious Manolo Blahniks.

For a little bit of Centrepeace, I will say rock on Black Eyed Peas and Girls Aloud though [I'm currently loving Jump - I was in 80s heaven with the group when they weren't covering 80s tracks, so this is fucking ecstasy... or something like that]. I so wish I could breakdance. I think weight my be a slight issue though.


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